A Business is an idea that grows. A business idea grows if there is a structure through which the idea is supposed to grow. Different stages of growth of a business idea requires input of different technical skills. Passing an idea as information benefits many recipients and is a career. Teachers and business consultants place food on their table because they trade in ideas. The ideas benefit recipients if they are delivered timely. This makes a deadline a very important ingredient to beat if the idea is going to be profitable. Although, ideas do not lose value, Their time dimension loses value and credit. The credit of an timely processed idea is not equal to credit of an idea whose time has passed. Owners of small businesses do not like to pass information about the formula of their success. They like to learn and read about how big businesses are run but do they practice the standards they read? Could this amount to irrelevance? Small business owners like to keep the way they do their business a secret. They believe, an idea that is in public domain is out of copyright and business ideas or the way a business conducts its business should not be out of copyright. Such an attitude would suffocate the need to develop the idea further. Since many small businesses do not like to to discuss their businesses, they go into pains of going back to school to learn how to manage their businesses at the sizes that they consider optimal. It is a good idea to get informed about what would be happening in your business. If a small business is not willing to part with the way it conducts business, it relies only on the consumers who have been using its products and services. the prospect of growth is small. Business ideas expand and grow to monopolize competitive markets when they are let lose. Consulting and letting off your business idea is a way of informing your customers the qualities of your product and services. Trust is a factor that propels businesses a head of the others. With trust, it is possible to build a believe that whoever you have left behind will do the job well. It is through use of this important tool in internal business relations that a small business will be able to employ managers, directors and consultants to expand it on behalf of the owner. The business man would have time to concentrate on other issues or invest in other businesses, set the pace of the business through structured business plans and leave others to develop themselves personally as his business grows. Many small businesses do not grow because the owners do not plan the business growthline. Business planning is an ingredient of successful businesses. Everything that is associated with success or growth was not made possible by one person. It is successful because the owners and participants in the business line were selfless people who had one agenda in their mind-to realize the mission statement of the company. Small business owners neglect planning their businesses because in so doing they think they are likely to involve a third party who can sell their business idea to THOSE WHO MAKE THINGS HAPPEN and end up setting up unnecessary unfair competition. Small business owners think that developing a business plan is meant to secure a business loan. No. It is time to bring in another person and inject new business ideas into your business. Small business owners need to understand, it is through business planning that they are able to improve their thinking qualitatively and quantitatively. They would be able to know at which point they are likely to fall below market expectations and be out of business and what they could do to prevent the possible failure to serve their customers well. Small business owners should stop citing successful businesses that have grown without business plans as examples of how a business can serve its master without investing in the knowledge drive of others. Small businesses should understand that a business plan is a business communication tool into its growth. As a communication apparatus, it helps in day-to-day management as business is able to achieve its goals and objectives. The business plan guides business owners and managers to identify strengths of their businesses, their weaknesses, opportunities that are relevant to the businesses and any threats that may sabotage the business growth. It is a must-have if the business is going to trade in new markets.
Herdsmen are wise people. The cattle can lack enough grass to keep them healthy but do not worry so much during the dry spell. They get worried when signs of rainfall begin to appear. Reason? Immediately rain falls, it is only cattle that are standing that manage to walk, any other becomes too weak to even stand up. When thunder roars and rain drops begin to hit the dry earth, every herdman is seen rushing to the cattle pen, to help his cattle stand up. Big companies and organizations in the year 2008-2009 were under a litmus test that financial Gurus termed as credit crunch. Many companies reported decreased turnover and where the company could not afford to be in business, sacked its employees without any benefits. It was a great opportunity for companies to determine how prepared their Chief Executive Officers were to provide solutions to problems that their companies got exposed to. Are Chief Executive Officers taking the roles of mentors and moulders into their hands or are they there, to accept company strategies that will just leave the company dead when it finds an obstacle on its path of growth, expansion snd development? Managing business into the future is like driving perishable goods to the market. Any simple mistake like delay costs loss of revenue to the company, lack of enough money to pay employees, lack of products for the market which makes dealers to source products from other businesses that are able to deliver products regardless of their size and reputation. Chief Executive Officers are drivers of vehicles termed as companies to a destination defined by the company mission statement, value statement and goal statement. As a driver, CEO's cannot know the condition of the road ahead. The road to the market may not be defined and may still be under construction. As employee of the company, the CEO had never found a road under construction in his career and does not have enough fuel to go back and use another road that help him to deliver value to major customer. Who is to blame? The road construction engineer? The CEO for not carrying out analysis on the road to the market? The market for not establishing communication networks before opening into business? The planners of the road for not awarding the tender of road construction to a company that could have completed the road works fast? It is nobody's mistake. It is a revolution that tests preparedness of managers to their tasks. Do companies prepare for their future management, growth and development? Yes, they do. They plan for tomorrow. Do they plan to fail? No, everything is made to ensure there are no chances of failure. Where is the problem? Lack of focus, lack of control, lack of efficient communication tools. They are prepared to handle any problem that they may face but are not ready to face it! That is a sad blow to corporate image of a company. Managers to Directors and CEO's all say happily, "our systems are functioning withing normal margins to handle anything that may be out to test our disaster readiness or preparedness". Yes, Nobody denies and the evidence proves so. But where are the systems when a problem occurs? Do the protocols and procedures stop being followed when a disaster happens? What is the outcome of the problem? Loss and prove there is no system in order. Does management lose time to manage its resources? Does company planning have a fictional time dimension? Company management into the future no longer subscribe to any future plan. The management is hard focusing on efforts to prevent past mistakes it made from being repeated in the present. There is actually no competitive advantage that a company can talk about. It is only consumers that have TRUST on the company, not because they like the products but because they have been with the company for long even if they have not been buying products or services from it. THE BUSINESSES MAY BE MANAGED WELL BUT who will manage them in the future? The team that qualifies to manage the business into the future does not have ability to go beyond where its own mentor advised. If the mentor informed the mentee that the only way to get to a destination of the company is by road, with aim of maximizing profits and minimizing costs, that will be the mentality of the mentee when he or she assumes the office of the mentor. There may be an alternative where the business delivers its products or services without gaining any profit in order to retain that customer which is far against corporate ethics of maximizing profit margins. Unfortunately, the company cannot outsource CEO's, it has to rely on its own crop even if it has the lowest trust in it. It has fought battles to train them and gone extra miles to give them high salaries to reduce staff turnover. Getting a Turn-around-manager for any company is hard. It is risky too to lose the ones that the company has because that may affect its shares and stock prices. Like a family setup, the company values its own crop because, like a child, the company cannot steal human resource. Its time for companies to have resources directed into the future planning of the business in order to reposition the business to survive during its time of high profits and times of low or negative profit. Careful management of resources like people, money, energy and time will determine which companies will still be in business in the very competitive business climate where the consumer has preferences that companies are trying hard to satisfy. The future of business competitive edge is on knowledge drive as a product of critical thinking skills and not adoption of learned techniques of mediating problems. The business organizations, as far as they try to keep track of their consumer preferences, should understand they are serving a consumer who behaves like a married man. Yesterday, he loved his bride for her hair but today, he has seen another quality in a woman that he desires to have. Tomorrow, he will read yet another incredible quality and will require other men to know and test the value of the quality that he has strategically laid down. Being in business is about chasing the preferences of the customer and predicting what the customer is likely to value in your product or service. Otherwise, as a driver, the road ahead is under construction. If you have no tents to camp, or enough fuel to go back, you will die at this spot waiting for the road to clear.
Walking at a snail's pace, James wondered what had happened the previous night. He pinched himself hard and could not understand if he was dreaming as he walked or his body had become dumb. He looked into the eastern horizon, failed to see his favorite star for good luck and cursed bitterly. Had he been born without any luck? Why had all his friends been so successful in life while he never found a suitor to accept his proposal for marriage? He shed a tear and closely looked into his failures. Enough was enough. He declared. He had to be like his friends. James silently mourned. His favorite girlfriend, Caroline, though pursued his dreams of life and cherished the thought of his future ambitions, had been banned by her parents from seeing him. Grace, a successful business woman, once told her, “Marriage is not a business where a person can accept possible future growth and developments after evaluating the mission statement and goals of the business from its proposal. It is not possible to marry hopes and wishes.”. He had to re-invent himself and meet the requirements that Caroline’s parents, especially her mother Grace wished fulfilled for her daughter to be married into a home where hopes and wishes for a comfortable future were the only thing a promise. He had never learned this ingredient of a person interfering with another's future life. He had no information that a mother could sabotage a relationship and nullify its possible yields in the future. Did the old folks never understand one characteristic of a relationship that is adopted from the business fraternity? A woman can marry the possible good future of a man and build her future to achieve the desires of her heart with her man! Relationships seemed to have had another dimension of trust and faith of one's abilities. It appeared relationships were pegged on current status of a man and not possible loss of fame that may happen in the future. James, as a business strategists could not believe why relationships had no strategies to keep them safe from conflicts. Do those who court really get the right tools to woo a girl into accepting them or do they promise the same stories that other men have failed to deliver? James nodded to himself and planned his way forward. He knew, since he has saved his company from going bankrupt, he was going to lift up a finger of authority over any challenge that his relationship was facing. He removed a mirror that he always carried to see his handsome face and admire his looks. He had maintained his handsomeness. He checked his small handbag, and found his nectar-rich perfume was intact. There was no question about it. His dressing left nothing to be compromised. He had enough education to litter hopes of a prospective girl with expectations. He had good communication skills. He never knew what made his values fail to tick. Just as he wandered and wondered across seas of thoughts, he heard a seemingly buzzing sound. He had just opened his perfume to update his sweet odour. When he looked back to see what hell it might have been, he could not believe his eyes. A swam of bees was descending on his little body. Was he worthy such temptations when he was looking forward to meet his girlfriend Mary against all odds? He ran wild, as fast as his feet could manage, but he was not as fast enough for the bees. His nectar smelling perfume had betrayed him! In a few minutes, they caught up with him. He lay unconscious for a time he could not predict. By the time he woke up, Grace, Mary's mother, was seated beside me. She looked at him. "You can risk!" she said. "Where is my beloved Mary?" he asked. "I have gone through many trials. I am sure, one day; I shall overcome my barriers into success." he added. Joseph, Mary's father who sat on the other side looked at his wife. "There are men who are made productive by the women that they marry. It is high time we gave in and let the ball roll on its court." he said. As James closed his eyes, he knew, like a prayer that must come to an end, he had to say Amen. Mary who was watching sadly a few metres from her parents edged closer. "Do not despair. Everything has got its own time to weather storms of challenges that sabotage its value. Every tree that bears edible fruits has a time when it matures and people begin to appreciate it. We have lived past this. If we were married childless couples, relatives could have said we are infertile. We can still give birth. They should know." She said calmly. "I have had no time to strategize to fit the likes of people. I am the same person, whose qualities everybody in the business community adores but just for marriage, I had failed to weather one ingridient, a prove that i can do whatever i want to achieve my goals. In the same light, I have won a title of honour. I will live this great dream of being who I am. It is an important asset of human being." He said as Mary helped him to stand.
Behavioral trends and lifestyles have improved. Thanks to the choices that are at stake and the many different brands of products available. Men have curved their identity to satisfy complexity that digital age spans into. They are going for a party girl with aim of seeking satisfaction in every shade of life. Welcome to the lives that will characterize divorce in future for the mere reason, ‘my spouse has fallen short of expectations.
You have been to college and understand that most familiar girl at college. Boys hovered around her like bees around a sweet-scented flower for nectar. She got dates from every angle and her name made a list of every party. All boys wanted a piece of her life. But unfortunately, this girl is not just found in the college. You meet the like-of-the-girl everywhere. In your neighborhood, she is so famous, boys from the other ridge of estate talk about her.
This girl is in her own class. She wears the right dressing for every occasion. She dances so well as if nobody is watching. When she decides to shower your heart with unconditional love, she leaves you in pieces. Her words are inspiration about what a digitally-updated girl ought to be. Her life is a model to emulate and link the current trends and future possible hopes that research work has not yet found suitable to recommend their practice. She will not, like the common everyday girl, shy away from walking with you into the shopping centers or parks. She knows when to give you a kiss for all and sundry to know what you mean to her. She will never let you doubt that your love was brewed in heaven. As her lover, you are sure to make merry the hedonistic style, “eat, drink and make merry for tomorrow, you are going to die’, as said Epicurus of old. Or the way my wife puts it, “live a day as if it’s your last. Crush bones while you still have teeth!”
Those who have once fallen for this type of girl can tell you that other girls are pale examples of what life with a woman can be. Their ability to be great fun is on top of their list. They laugh and communicate well. Any man feels like a professional lady-killer in the company of a party girl. Party girls are hungry for experimentation. They do whatever they crave for and are more than you want them to be. They never let you down when it comes to having fun. They seem to have express advance permission from their parents, to go out any time of the day or night unlike your usual good girl who gives excuses about how strict his dad is.
Let us face the naked truth, most men wish for this kind of woman, who is good at nothing that counts in a relationship but for fun. Commitment means nothing to a party girl. She finds it hard to hold onto a relationship- relationship tethers one to zero graze. What about one who loves adventures into life? Are you going to leave stones unturned before you tether yourself? Wonder why relationships are breaking up and leaving men who could commit suicide for losing a golden girl worthy her value? Every man counts losses; he does balance of sheet to his many investments including a woman, why should things not work out? Has he wasted his precious time?
There is a party girl into the lives of men who seeks immediate pleasure and off she goes when she is satisfied with that particular relationship. If the relationship was created on mentality of going picnics, on returning home, she needs to explore other wonders of the world. Man, you are just dumped! You won’t be the first or last. Follow her ways up her ladder. She gets a new catch, stays with him for a while and then drops him for a new hot pick. The good women are falling in love with men who have broken hearts. The men who have become victims of lack of trust and cannot trust a woman anymore. The life expectancy of any relationship is coming down like a lump of sand to break into small sand particles. Reason, men meet good girls after their lives with the party girl. The party girl, who raised their hopes too high and failed to bring them down, it would be hard for another girl to ever understand how serious a man is going to be. A party girl leaves wounds in your heart for nurses, new girls into your life, to dress if they need to bring you down from the peaks of highest desires to the bottom, where it all ended and is supposed to start, to bring a man to reality that life is a journey of failures. Which man would feel committed to be brought down into basement when he was at the top? The learned men could only opt to maintain their status “to try to keep balance when they are not able to hold on”. Isn’t this basement of poverty where they die out of stress after squandering all their pensions and retirement benefits? We all need to be at the top and is any other girl going to relate successfully with men?
A party girl cannot be trusted. She likes going to movies and picnics. Her life fits a working man who could spare a lot of money for miscellaneous expenses. Her dressing comes at a cost. And there is a change of wardrobe every season! Visiting beauty parlors to look up-to-date is expensive too. She is serial flirt made to seduce. You are a king, only when with her, at that moment, in your own territory. Someone else is the king in another territory. If you feel your heart is broken, she has no apologies. She doesn’t give a damn about you. Which limb needs amendments anyway after it has broken? She has learned to live a life to its full lengths and widths. Her many stories of fun are own individual life experiences. Party girls just make lousy wives and mothers!
At the dusk of an eventful day, it’s a good girl who wins when you are looking for a serious partner who you can service and maintain. The good will bore you since they don’t do the things that a wild girl could attempt. A good girl is reserved, cautious and might not accompany you for your hangouts in the bar. But another lived up line of life is that you can experience precious moments of inner peace and comfort only when a good girl takes care of you. A good girl has time for you when you fall ill, and will always miss you when you are out somewhere. A good girl is unlikely to cheat on you. Stop getting tantrums of worries even if she is exceptionally pretty to be stopped on her tracks by any moneyed man who knows significance of beauty (yes, a man who knows what a beautiful wife adds into his home, career and life).
Remember how your good girl might have told you, ‘to beat off your challenging evil thoughts if you had to score her identity’ when you tried to ‘make out who she could be in future in terms of development and social alignments’ with her.
Good girls stick to monogamous relationships, while a hot girl will probably end up a drunkard or a drunk-addict or fall prey to rape after a gang of boys decide to drown her into beer and revenge for her unexplained desertion. Party girls don’t break up a relationship. They leave hearts of their men open. Its like they know the essence of bridges, they are needed when one gets back.
You can go on a party and have fun with a party girl but don’t ever dream or imagine she will bring fun with her into your marriage. The truth is this; your house is too small for all her exploits and you alone can’t quench her passions. You are not the first man to go into this adventure. Many men have tried and ended up with similar results- disappointments!
Kindness, mercy and pity overcame my urge to intervene. I watched helplessly as Joseph and Elizabeth hit each other carelessly. I didn’t know the root of their conflicts. Like the other puzzled onlookers, I wondered what goes wrong after a man and a woman, who have lived together for a long time, plan and implement their way forward into their success and failure and triumphs, became enemies. Suddenly, like a flash of lightening, Elizabeth hit Joseph around the kidney region. He slowly fell down into unconsciousness, coma… death. A murderous woman she might have been. Did she expect some ecstasy? She seemed, she felt nothing after felling her husband down – not joy, not sadness, not remorse nor regret. Everybody scattered into the thin air. There was none that wanted to be a witness. As I walked past them, my blander tight enough, the gate into my house metres away, endless thoughts spun through my mind. Why is it that marriage has become an institution of love and tears? When will a family set up be a magic world of caring attitudes that define courtship? What ingredients fuel the need to beat, maim and possibly kill? Does fighting make things better? Do couples get back to the drawing table of their lives after kicking the hell out of each other? Do they live in fear after reconciliation? Is there a possibility of a past conflict resurfacing to haunt the relationship in future? Is respect for one another maintained after such a bitter duel? What picture does violence portray to onlookers? Are such couples comfortable as gossips of their duel make dinner stories as possible neighbours analyze the situation?
The truth dawned in bits. People don’t fall in love with bad guys. They don’t fall in love with people who treat them right though nice responsible people are all over around. They are not attracted to them but seek to enjoy a character associated with them. Relationships are today built on understanding of a celebrity, a man or a woman whose appearance, voice, gestures, match the model. Instant rapport develops if the friend falls on the margins of the seemingly created model. The first time one gets physically intimate is very important. It defines the way forward for all future dates. A person seeks similar environs to turn on moods. If it was a happy event, a person ends up seeking dates that remind him or her of such a scenario. If it was a sad event, there is the possibility for a spouse to feel cheated, victimized, intimidated… Emotional situation As adults, we seek emotional situations like those of our childhood. If your parents were not around much of the time, you are used to feeling ignored so you seek partners who must learn to ignore you, even if they care for you. A partner seeks individual space, private life and does not want interference. Like during neglected childhood times, interference of people should only be necessary as when the spouse wants something done –just like during meal times then when the spouse could have had time to be among other people. If your parents fought, this seed of thought has been planted in your heart. It’s what you have programmed your mind to do and achieve. If you failed to get enough parental love, you expect your spouse to compensate no matter how tired he might be. If your own parents looked down on you, possibly the father felt you were not his child, you end up feeling you don’t deserve to be loved. You feel hated, suspect your spouse for being more or less the same, because you have so much evidence of such a behaviour in your mind.
Symptoms of domestic violence Threats: does your partner threaten your life? For instance, he might kill you or beat you up? Does your partner service the life of a mistress? Do you feel neglected? Does you spouse fail to meet his obligations even on a fat salary package? Doesn’t your partner want you to discuss his budget with you? Does he beg to keep to himself or herself?
Humiliation Does your partner insult you in the presence of your friends? Does he or she talk badly about you when discussing family matters with friends? Does your partner bully you in public including ignoring you? Does your partner want your company when only in the premises of your home? Does your partner lower your dignity before the kids by telling them how useless you are? Does your partner tell you he had other friends to fall to even if you were to quit marriage? Are you an excellent communicator than your partner and knows, in presence of friends, you are likely to humiliate his academic credentials with your uncalled for irrelevant inputs into discussions?
Conformity Every home has its own standards. Are you a match to his financial standards? Do you dress well and represent your spouse well? Does your friend leave you if going out and only insists you to be with him only when going shopping in a nearby mall? Do you feel secure when walking by your spouse or do you think a lover could pop up and distort your happy evening out? Do you live up to his or her expectations? Under what circumstances did you meet? Did you meet your spouse at a party or through the Internet? Were you prepared for the union? When your spouse talks about dialogue protocols, dressing etiquettes, moral standards, thought content, do you understand what he expects of you? When you try to please your spouse, does the partner feel satisfied by your effort or does the partner retort ‘I had a similar treatment in a particular hotel?’ Does your spouse respect your views about building the home together? Does your spouse value your inputs or does the partner consider them inappropriate and substandard? When you mistakenly receive your spouse’s call, does the spouse dictate his life and your own, in the house, has landmarks or borders? Does your spouse accuse you of overstepping your roles and responsibilities?
Driving force of violence Violence is not about anger, pain, frustration, fear, stress, alcohol, bitterness, tiredness or hunger. Violence is a pre-determined action. It is a result of what one has been planning to do. Simply put, violence is a way of displaying anger, stress, and frustration, pain… Violence is a habit and grows as one grows. Like a teacher marking a student’s paper, such a violent person seeks for errors that you have made, keeps a track of your possibly doubtful actions in a diary only to unleash them when that opportunity shall mature. Violence matures and when your spouse thinks it’s high time to lose control, you face what has been brewing in his heart or mind. At this destined time, any small wrong doing like just being late to prepare supper or a call at an odd hour of the night, is enough to open the doors of insults, sarcastic talk amid laughter only to learn his or her moods are on the red light. Just one more word and you get hit with a fist, slap or even whatever has been kept in case. Sometimes, magistrates and judges err by dictating the person’s mental potential to be investigated before he or she could stand a trial. Yet, alone, they regret their actions. They silently curse their spouses for being tormenting, unreasonable, too intruding,… A social worker only makes matters worse when she or he comes up with a need for individual or private life in a spouse. The netted bag is let lose, to marvel at his or her wit and become more virulent!
The road to recovery If you can’t repair a small crack, you should invest to build an entire wall. There is need to seek foundation to erase your negative thoughts. Who do you fall to when you need a counsel? Do you get encouraged to hold on the oar of life or are you made more insensitive to your spouse? Does your spouse seek forgiveness? Do you have time to ask your spouse if he or she is happy and if not why? Do you have time to mend your relationship? A relationship is like a dress worn without being replaced by another and might get torn due to conflicts or differences of opinion. Do you sympathize or empathize with your spouse’s situation? Or do you just take it for carelessness? Do you solve problems with your spouse or do you seek ways of laying blame on one another? Do you have time to reflect on past life of your spouse? Maybe, poor family background, for instance, lack of parental love, family separations, or poor upbringing could shed light into your problems and be in a position to mend them. Before this, do you believe you could overcome your anger, frustrations, stress, pain… Do you have a dust bin in your heart to empty your own anger, emotional break downs, frustrations, stress… Are you able to control your actions? Are you able to give dialogue a chance? When you speak, do you dictate, command or rule? Do you leave a door for an advice? Do you know how to dispense your anger?
You are responsible for your own actions. If you are one of the violent men or women on the loose, why don’t you attack everybody in sight? Why do people pretend and alter situations to soil the social vitae of their spouses? Do such people know, a word of abuse, neglect or irresponsibility, once on the media spotlight, could determine the future of their careers?
Sharing ideas It becomes hard to listen to a domestic violence victim’s tales. If you are sympathetic, empathetic and compassionate enough, you are likely to feel you are not safe either. The tale, “It began when…” and it rhymes with what you evidently observe your spouse doing, on relating experiences, a sense of insecurity creeps in and you too become another mentally tormented victim to be counseled too. With this projection of inner thoughts on life experiences, the likelihood to inquire from your spouse is high. The spouse may become suspicious; you don’t trust them! Or maybe, sad to say, you are not likely to give directions of a path or road to a stranger unless you have traveled by it. This is suggestive; immediately your spouse will take you for unfaithfulness. You wanted the spouse to understand the need for variety. Withdrawal symptoms are sparked. Counseling is about transforming the lives from situation of discomfort to comfort or rather, internal struggle into peace, the way you would feel. Counseling should go miles to assure a victim that all is well. Counseling is emotionally, psychologically, spiritually and even physically draining profession. It involves getting into phenomeno-logical world of a victim to be able to positively reflect it back to you. As a counselor, if you reflect on the negative edge of your own life, you are likely to let your spouse feel the magnitude. He has to show he cares. He will start to shut your career with words like, ‘I earn enough money for our upkeep’. Otherwise he will be open. ‘Your own interaction with clients is affecting our family. Please learn to leave your work at your work place.’ A mid-wife smiles when a baby is born. A counselor ought to feel the same way when a prospect or client finally says, ‘I feel okay now. I can go on with life.’ A journal would be of help. It is a write up of one’s experiences and frustrations. It’s a way of pouring out disturbing encounters in life threatening situations otherwise, they come back to haunt you like an evil spirit.
Self assessment The spirit to revenge is born of a faulty belief system. For instance, I am supposed to manipulate my spouse, it’s my right to demand whatever I want at any time. It’s my right to be heard. I have the right to control my spouse and prune unbecoming behaviour by any means possible. My creator made me a Supreme Being and could always be a mentor, a leader, guide, or counsel. Yes, it’s okay. But safety gets the first priority. You are a person. You are a human being like your victim. Try to think, and understand, your spouse can live happily without your input. Let men and women look beyond their own selfish gains. Let’s seek counsel, get educated even on matters on living together positively. If it’s hard to get educated or visit a consultant, fearing to lower your self-esteem in the society, always start a conversation on a given area of a relationship with your colleagues. They will inform you and widen your horizons of thought. Create a friend in problems and seek counsel on what to inform him or her and you shall be informed. Otherwise, if you can’t be a student to learn, even when you still consider yourself a teacher, you will be the first person to fall when your binding vows with your spouse break apart. You will cry alone and without a friend to lend a shoulder. Like a default system, you need to straighten up things. Don’t try to distort order. Like I usually advise my friends, ‘hospital ceilings are boring. Please act safely. Let your words and actions have some dignity.’ It is probably what the world of domestic violence needs most
“I’m faced with a hard task – Betrayal.” Winfred thought. “Marriage isn’t a bed of roses.” Her husband, John, had no time to discuss anything with her. He bought her everything from perfumes, cloths to shoes. “Is my husband a dictator? We make sex only when he decides to.” She lamented. “Might he have a secret lover who satisfies his emotional needs?” she went on. “My companion at home is television, video player and the radio! What a boring life! And other women still pay respect to my name!" She had grown thinner. John was always happy, talking about success of his Business Empire and progress that his children were making at school. She picked up the phone and called a private investigator. “Hi. I am Winfred John. I’ve got a problem that I want my doubts cleared. I prefer to come we discuss the strategy.” She said. After being directed to their office she got into her limousine and drove. Ten minutes later, she walked into their offices. “This might be a new beginning if all goes well otherwise I’ll be tormented forever by public, friends and media houses for trying to distort the perfect corporate image of my husband! Defamation and character assassination is a crime but i will commit it.” She thought. “Hallo? Am Winfred. I called minutes ago too book an appointment.” She said. “Welcome Madam Winfred. We’ve a reputation of tackling all marital problems with dignity. I hope you’ll enjoy our services” The receptionist replied. “Surely I hope my burdens shall have a happy ending.” She replied. “The relationship manager is eagerly waiting to serve you.” The receptionist replied. She knocked at his door. “Please come in.” He said. After she had sat down he said, “You must be Winfred. Its pleasure to meet you.” Mr. Wright said. “Sure. My pleasure.” She replied. “What’s the problem Ms Winfred? It takes courage to make such a decision.” Benjamin began. “ My husband is a busy personnel. He works till late as a director of our family business. He provides for everything but for my love, I feel like I’m neglected along the line.” She said. “Do you propose he has a mistress somewhere?” he asked. “I don’t certainly imply, but there could be a possibility. This is the reason behind my seeking your services. We could spend four months before we could sleep together. I’ve tried to wear all sexy clothing but nothing has changed to award my efforts. I prepare tempting meals with love in mind in vain. I’ve been a loser in all my efforts. He only thanks me for my concern.” She replied. “Does he come home late? Does he drink beer? Does he have a driver?” he asked continuously. “No. He has a behaviour that I look upon to yield to this suspicion. He has different perfumes in the office and in the car. He had this tendency before we married. I never interfered fearing I might hurt his feelings.” She explained. “Why do you think he carries them in the car? You know a man takes the odour of the lady he recently cuddled. He might offset this by his own strong perfumes. Do you have a shower in the company premises?” he asked. “Yes. He likes taking bath often. In a day, even at home, he could do it thrice. He complains he sweats a lot.” she replied. “What usually follows his need to take bath?” he asked. “Usually after he leaves the bed or when he watches an emotion provoking movie.” she replied. “What else draws your suspicions to conclude he might be having an affair?” he asked. “Sometimes, his suit has strands of hair. Sometimes I hug him in the office. My hair has no history of breaking. Earlier, we used to take our cloths to the dry cleaner. I suspected the cleaners might have been mixing the cloths with women’s. Currently I wash his cloths but this evidence still recurs.” She replied. “Okay, which restaurant does he frequent most?” he asked. “He has no restaurant that he prefers. He goes into whichever is near.” She replied. “This is tricky. It might be very expensive.” He sadly said. “I’ll foot all expenses.” She volunteered. “The only possible way is to install CCTV cameras in all major restaurants, get our investigators in food industry whom we’ll pretend they are college graduates seeking internship. After that we need sound recording devices that double as ashtrays, electronic books for menu board…” he said. The deal was closed. After a month, nothing yielded. In their report, they wrote, “…Your husband is faithful, trustworthy and a man who has his business interests in mind. Otherwise, an extra lover is an added expense. You could have observed this if your budget was interfered with. We advise you relax knowing he is one in a million to meet so many beautiful single business executives and fail to seek love. Doing business with single women is a challenge. A man could be tempted to go a step to request for unconditional love. He has maintained his dignity, personality and discipline…” Winfred looked at the letter and wasn’t satisfied. An after thought came falling. He is a consultant, he knows where problems might begin, advises on how they could be diverted, and how to be on top of your game. She wrote a letter back to the team. “…I’m not satisfied with your work. Please could you base your investigation on which woman he speaks to before his meetings begin or end…” The month was beehive of activities. Their baits were laid well. In all occasions, he could speak to a different woman and at the end of the session, conclude with another. After a follow up, they established all were business-related relationships. When everything seemed in vain, the director took the task to write her a letter. “…We are sorry once again. Our investigations into your husband found he is innocent. In building a name, it takes all genders. People don’t meet to fall in love or for being lonely. Meetings are meant to discuss ideas that build, arrive at a conclusion and make a profit. If functions were laden with ideas of seeking lovers, many businesses would suffer heavy loses. Attending a business function comes at a cost…” Winfred felt beaten. “What would my husband say if he came across all the CCTV footage? What would my marriage become if these men went behind their professional code of ethics and released the info to the media houses? Our business would suffer a big blow.” She called again and was connected to the director. He said. “My business could earn a bad reputation if we’ve tried two times and have failed to have any evidence against your husband’s possible cheating. I don’t want to be out of business please.” She replied, “Your main aim is to be in business. There is nobody who, in his right senses, would refuse to be investigated. I’m going to pay for the services. It’s not for credit!” He accepted to do it for the last time. Madam Grace was recruited to look into her case. She had divorced her husband on his lust for women. Her husband, through his intervention, made her sacked after serving fidelity limited for fifteen years. She took the job, not because she was an investigator of high reputation but because she had to put food on her table. She recorded John tell a woman, “We could meet here at 11:30 A.M. to polish finer details.” She nodded. Grace made a striking observation on John. He made his requests on a piece of paper that he chewed a moment later. She made similar observations among high profile secretaries. Single business executives were in his shoes of love. Of all investigators, none managed to get his CCTV footage with his lovers. After four months down the lane, Grace got his CCTV footage. From the video clips, none could believe John met his lovers in different hotels. Winfred watched in disbelief as John told one girl, “My leisure has a time limit. From 11:30 A.M. to 2:30 P.M. on Saturday. You can find me at Champions Guld Club.” The only day he left his car at home and opted Winfred to chauffeur him to work and club and back home! She picked him from the office at exactly 4:30 P.M. The following Saturday she drove him to the club and bade him bye at 11:00 A.M. and promised to pick him up at the usual time. She drove a few apartments away and found Grace waiting in a taxi. They went and parked the family car outside their company premises. John They followed the car all the way to Choices Country Club! Forty-five miles outside the city! John got out of the car, passionately kissed his Saturday bride and headed towards the reception. Four minutes later, Grace and Winfred followed them. They tried to search where they could have sat down but failed to see them. “Was I seeing a ghost? It’s hard to believe!” Winfred thought. Grace inquired from the receptionist. “We had sent a woman in a pink suit to make our reservation. We’ve just popped in and saw her but can’t see where she might have gone.” “All rooms were booked last month. Today is a special day in our business. Many ladies are in pink. Others are dressed in red. We are conscious about what our special clients wear. We reserve right not to accept a client without giving any reasons. In future, you could have this catalogue on our daily dressing for all regular females and males if you might come accompanied by a spouse.” Belle replied. A worker, who was dressed in yellow, came hurriedly to the receptionist. “Belle! We’ve just been informed that our taps are dry. Could you make arrangements for the city council to deliver water.” “That’s tragic. Water is a major ingredient in our business. Let me call them please. You could make arrangements to have a drum of water in every self-contained room. Wait for these letter to deliver to our clients. We need to apologize for the inconveniences caused.” Belle replied “It’s so unfortunate! The staff in the water department is off duty! Why this?” Belle stammered. “Please instruct the supplies drivers to go and get water as fast as possible and remember to pass by to collect the letters.” Belle ordered. Grace tapped Winfred on her shoulders. “Let’s get back to the car.” She said. “I smell something fishy goes on here! It could sound ridiculous. People could pretend to come for important functions only to just make love?” she asked. “I tend to believe. Let’s sit in the car and wait until all clients come out. Their car is parked right opposite. He can’t be an angel to fly back to the office.” Winfred replied. At exactly two o’clock, John appeared with his lover, holding hands in the passionate way they had entered. Behind them, she followed to the car and before he could open the door she stood between them and stared hard at him. Winfred removed a photograph that she was taken upon graduating in martial arts. “I can fight. Don’t play hide and seek games.” She warned. She turned to his lover. She couldn’t believe her eyes. ‘My sister Caroline! When did you begin all this?” she asked. “Before you wed John.” She replied confidently. “Have men become scarce?” she asked. “ I could have married him if not for your pregnancy. I loved him so much and we’ve never stopped to. Please, its too late Winfred, I’ve three kids with him. You’ve got only two.’ She replied. “Why couldn’t you have told me? No wonder you always told me that you never valued marriage. Why tell me you never wanted to be answerable to any man? Why did you always tell me you never valued men’s support…” Winfred began to sob. John held her collar. “Winfred, these aren’t standards for my family. You’re overstepping your roles and responsibilities. What’re you doing here? Are you a spy of your own husband? Who is taking care of the kids? Who has taken kids for the outing?” he spoke softly. Winfred walked away. “I am overstepping…” she thought
When an accident occurs, as a first respondent, you should not rush to help the victims. It is a saying of wisdom. It is a composed relaxed person who is able to make correct analytical judgment. It is important as the first respondent to approach the scene of accident calmly. Likewise, the career ladder has similar guidelines. Caroline*, an ambitious graduate secured employment in January and was placed on probation for three months. Her career plan indicated she wanted to be a branch manager in six months and after securing a commendable network of business, set up a consultancy office by the close of the year. These are the core virtues of a planner and represent personal career aspirations! Caroline is not alone in this race. Welcome to the world of university graduates that are in pursuit for immediate professional gratification. This is an era filled by a generation that understands no virtue by the name patience. The generation is full of potential candidates that know what they want in life and ‘what it takes’ to achieve ones desires. The crop of graduates want to cruise at any speed on the career path to achieve every aspect of life that could redefine their worth and competence. In major cities globally, traffic jams have increased that question the city’s planning efficiency and its past preparedness to accommodate population growth. Time is money and there is no one who wants to be held up in traffic jams. The generation is cursing at the many hold-ups that could mean loss of business if they cannot beat time to deliver services or get to interview offices in time. Every member of the current graduates wants to get to their academic destinations before anyone else does. It is an ingredient of competitive markets and desire to monopolize the market before competitors get a clue of the opportunity! The counselors often inform their audience, “We all cannot fit in the same careers and lifestyles”. What do they imply? Other analytical counselors pose a question, “If you come late, when the ladder of the career is full, where were you when others were being recruited?” It is this statement “where were you…” that makes the graduates plan career paths that question the criteria for fulfilling their set duties and responsibilities. For the passengers, everyone wants to get into commuter vehicles before the rest hence they step on others feet as they push their way in. the current crop of graduates want to get promotion before they are settled in their offices or get their orientations. They plan their way out even before they report on their work station for the first time. Where things are not working as per ethical standards, they are ready and prepared to bribe their way either by cash or in kind. They call this ‘breaking the barriers on your career path’. Patience is no longer embraced. ‘Patience will make me a person who stands on the right way and get crushed by those who are cruising very fast!” Jane* put it. The generation nullifies those who use the right route as backward. Short cuts seem the ‘digital thing’ as everything in the digital age is a function of a short cut. The generation does not give credit to the word experience or expertise. An amateur swimmer who boasted he could win championships drowned as he practiced fast styles in a shoulder deep swimming pool. He just got exhausted. In Romeo and Juliet, Friar Lawrence informs Romeo, ‘They fall that run fast’. He was against haste.
Society today is awash with people who believe, a minute wasted is never recovered in one’s lifetime and that it’s better to hit the iron while it’s still hot. Yes, there is nobody who denies. One is only able to shape his life when he has the best opportunity to. Some words of wisdom have been misinterpreted like work hard when the sun shines for darkness is soon going to take over. The song by Sam James, “Crush bones when you still have strong teeth for a time is coming when you will be toothless” gives graduates a momentum to try all they could to get to the peak and say, “Oh yes, I am at the apex; at the top of my career.” They have been trained to be ‘go-getters’, people who could follow a beeline into the hive of their ambitions.The school of thought that graduates are trained on encourage them, “to get to the top, you must not start low.” They are told it is possible to climb a tree from the top (while there, you will have time to learn its structure) and graduates buy this idea. Graduates believe everything is possible. Ask anyone who has been to a mathematics class and they would tell you that its possible to prove anything even by contradiction like 0 multiplied by say 5 is not equal to zero given that 0 is not a zero itself! No wonder the book, “how to lie with statistics’ has a basis on contradiction theory. This has made graduates to jostle for positions at the top when they can hardly hold their bodies up there. Can they balance themselves to the demands and challenges of controlling a mass of employees when they can barely manage their own personal lives? Have company setups become family or a relative’s properties for graduates to have power and an upper hand over other employees – for the seasoned employees to do the right thing without being supervised and let graduates learn from what they are doing? The end justifies the means, we claim and understand. With this new philosophy, the term career path does not apply since in reality there is no career path to follow! Who has ever seen a successful person without a history of challenges and how he might have overcome them? Successful people have a story of triumph. Where is the story of achievements that the graduates may write up as a thesis for a master’s program or doctorate program? They simply want to dash.
At a time when pressure is very high to get meaningful jobs (everybody expects a graduate to participate in community projects either by advice or monetary) the staff turnovers in companies has become very high. Or is it because many graduates are doing jobs far related to their degree course?How would the graduate feel if they lived Simon Makonde’s story? (He was born on Monday. He studied on Tuesday, Married on Wednesday, educated his kids on Thursday. He got cancer on Friday and died on Saturday and was buried on Sunday after a long conflict on where he was to be buried since there were other women who came out to say he was married to them and had born kids with him too). This is a symbolic life spanning many decades. The above parallel has a meaning to the path of career growth graduates miss when they opt to jump the queue and step on career development paths as graduates step on ethics that should be practiced intentionally. The employer needs a responsible person who can identify weak areas and prioritize on immediate solutions and not a learner who has to use benefit of doubt to steer a company into uncharted waters of its corporate growth. There is shared feeling among those seeking employment that they can succeed even without experience. The truth is that every job has its own description. It requires veterans who know how to navigate into it without seeking approval from another person. What graduates need to ask themselves is, “How should they get that experience?”Anyone joining the job market and wants to succeed must be ready to go on internship or lowly paying jobs to be seasoned or even work as a volunteer with the aim of learning the ropes of a career path. There are thousands of unemployed graduates out there blaming every other person, except themselves, for the lack of jobs. Many feel that with certain level of education, they cannot accept certain jobs that they consider lowly to their academic profile. Such people then languish doing nothing, as they want to catch up with the ladder from the top. Ask those who are not learned and they will say, “Jobs are so many, we only lack education!” This desire for immediate satisfaction has grown a perfect lawn for the seed of corruption to germinate. Since they want to get there faster, they oil the ‘listening ears’ of many superiors without knowing the right to be fired at a short notice is within their discretion or if the greased senior fellow reports to other personnel, they both could risk sack without benefits if one commits a crime that the company policies are against. Are those who bribe going to have another goddess of authority to be loyal to and not stick to their job description? With this act, many have compromised systems of their values. The society sets high expectations and standards for graduates that leave them more frustrated especially when life seems not to deliver what they want fast. As Caroline indicates in her footnote of her career plan, ‘I hope to be a millionaire by the age of thirty, otherwise, there should be counseling and guidance setups to attend to frustrations that people like me would have then.” Great ambitions that should be supported by a developed strategic plan that supports visions and ethical mission statement
Ideas dress the garment of literary work. They demonstrate creativity and sense of originality. Ideas develop and cloth dignity and personality of a writing. Ideas form basis of art, thought and science. The passion to write, the dreams to realize, the ability to design... are all stages that ideas moves and makes things happen.
